[ blemished sacrifices ]

This morning I was reading in Malachi, and was caught in 1:6-8.  It’s a simple concept, but paralyzing, nevertheless.

The passage speaks of how the people owe God his honor as a Father, yet they show contempt for His name.  They are then confused as to how they’ve done so, and remind Him of all the sacrificing they’ve done.  God then rebukes the people for giving him their blind, wounded, crippled, and diseased cattle as a sacrifice.  It then loses all its honor; in fact, it’s a downright insult.

 The best association I can make, particularly in the holiday season is re-gifting.  You know, the pig-shaped can opener you received last year that you decide to wrap back up and give to someone else this year?  Yeah.  That’s the idea. 

But that’s what I do to God so often.  I’ll say that I’m giving Him my all and giving Him a devotion time each day as my offering.  But if I’m distracted, leave the TV on and happen to turn and look at what’s going on with America’s Next Top Model or go grab a drink in the middle….then my offering is tainted.  It is no longer a pure, sacred gift to the One who is so deserving.  If I go serve at a function at the church, yet I’m whining or grumbling on the way, it’s tainted.

So, we lose the whole meaning of giving a gift.  We say “Oh, it’s the thought that counts.”  But that’s just the thing; there was no thought [or more importantly, heart] involved.  The point of giving a gift is to SACRIFICE something of yourself…be it money, manpower, time, energy, etc….that went into that gift.  So, the pig canopener is only a self-help that clears an extra two inches in your own drawer…ergo it’s just an insult.  Not a gift.  Man, I sure do pray He’ll make me better at giving him the best sacrifices I have…

…and not the one-eyed cow with acne…

[ the one you've gotta read ]

Folks, I don’t have time to write too much, but I just wanted to say hey.  It’s the weekend.  YAY!  I’ve been wearing my retainer a lot [yeah, the one i got in 7th grade when my braces came off]…because i stopped wearing it for about a year and my teeth have shifted.   I just want straight teeth back for the wedding!  And white ones, for that matter, but that may take more time [and many crest whitestrips....with all the coffee I drink].   So in my oh-so-suave ultra appeal, I am making the fashion statement of the century with plastic and metal splattered all across my face.  You know you like it.

 So, to my story.  Yes, there’s always a story.  I was taking blitzen out the other morning, and I saw what I thought was a note slid under the wiper blade of my car.  I got so excited because I haven’t had that happen to me in a long, long time!!!  In my giddy sprint to the car, it soon became evident that this “note” was just a deep red and orange autumn leaf, freshly fallen in the right spot.   “Dangit” was my response.  So, Blitzen and I walk away and as I shiver and bounce around trying to stay warm [while I shout encouragement for my dog to pick up the pace with his important business]…I got to thinking. 

There was a note left on my car.  And it wasn’t just a note.  It was a love note.  An uber-ridiculously-mind-blowing and brilliantly mastered love note.  From my wooer.  My ultimate wooer; the one who never stops pursuing me, never stops romancing me, and loves me beyond anything I can compare.  He knows how much I love fall…seeing the colors change, the holidays, the smell of all my favorite seasonal treats, etc…and He sent me a reminder via a little notecard to say “Don’t forget that I’m giving you all of this because I love you; I could give you a lifeless, colorless, and miserable place to live….but instead I’ve chosen to show you my majesty by giving you fall [and all the other little things in life you take for granted].”

Wow.  So often when things aren’t exactly my way, I think this is a miserable place to live anyhow.  But just think of how much worse it could be.  I mean, we live Canaan.  The promised land.  The land flowing with milk and honey and high-speed internet access.  All of our needs are met, and most luxuries as well…luxuries that others in the world couldn’t even imagine.  Yeah, this world’s got it’s downfalls; if it didn’t, it’d be called heaven–but as far as how it could be, He gave it to us pretty darn good.  I’m thankful for that. 

And I’m thankful for my love note.

Think through your day today and ask yourself where your love note was sitting.  Was it an email with a job offer in it that you’ve been praying for?  Was it in passing a dog in the park who brightened your day with a slobbery kiss on your hand?  Or was it maybe written on a tissue that your best friend gave you in your time of tears and heartache?  Let me know–I want to hear about it.

[ through glass ]

I’m back, folks. 

Where was I?  This little place called the misery of the workplace.   Actually, in comparison, this job wasn’t half bad.  The only problems being:  1. I had no time left for my friends, and 2. I wasn’t making any money.  Yep, I was 100% commission.  Now, that can actually be very lucrative, but I came into the game in a bad time of the year and a 13-year low in the housing/furniture economy loop.  It also takes a couple years to build up a clientele base.  So, even those who had been in the furniture industry their whole lives aren’t making much money at this point.

I’m already so much happier.  I can start thinking about my friends again, my family, and the wedding.  I hadn’t gotten a chance to do any planning, and things were put on hold.  At times, I find myself falling into the old traps I used to love.  With the Celiac Disease and not having much time to eat, I’ve found myself losing a lot of weight again.  Now, though that excites me [and my wedding dress vendor] greatly, I know what dangers it poses;  I fall into danger of loving it too much and becoming ensnared again.  Not gonna lie, that actually sounds so appealing to me.

 So, I’d love to see/talk to you soon…message me because I’ll be around now!

[ it is well ]

I was greatly spoken to by an old hymn this week.  Sunday, at church, accompanied by the story of a dying man, I found myself near tears upon the words of “It Is Well.”  Please take a second to scan the lyrics:

“When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot Thou hast taught me to say
Even so, it is well with my soul

CHORUS:
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

And Lord haste the day
When my faith shall be sight
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll

The trump shall resound
And the Lord shall descend
Even so, it is well with my soul

Whatever my lot Thou hast taught me to say
Even so, it is well with my soul”

When I analyzed each piece of it [even though I've sung it a billion times since I was born] , God spoke to me in so many ways.  Though it’s phrased like my King James, the words “when sorrows like sea billows roll…” were something we can all attest to.   There are times when it’s not just like rain pounding on our head, it’s like giant waves crashing down on us, seeking to drown.  It’s reminding me that in peace or in torment, I am to say “even so, it is well with my soul.”  Now, the tough part is….is that true?  I can say it all day long, and have everyone be proud of me…and la la la…on it goes.  But is it TRULY well with my soul?  Am I truly free of all chains, and have I truly given over ALL suffering in exchange for an almighty peace?

The other bit that spoke wonders to my heart–actually the part that nearly made me cry–was “..Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight…”  and it goes on to describe the details of seeing heaven and prophesy happening before my very eyes.  In combination with the notes and strength of the music, those words could bring me to my knees.  Philippians 2:9-11 speak the famous words that “at the name of Jesus, every knee will bow [in heaven and on earth and under the earth]…” which is exactly how I feel at this song.  It’s not even my choice.  My legs buckle in awe and brokenness at something so magnificent as JUST the THOUGHT of it all.  I can not begin to imagine how many millions of times moreso when it actually occurs.  People wonder if they’ll get to see Revelations fulfilled or if it won’t happen in their lifetime.  According to this, we will ALL see it….whether in heaven, or earth, or those souls that chose to renouce Jesus and are living in the lake of fire. 

I don’t know about you, but I sure hope I get a good seat.

[ an engaging conversation ]

Forgive me!!!!

 It has been a very long time since I wrote….life has been a whir of colors lately!

From my birthday, to looking for a job, to getting engaged, to going to all my family and friends for announcing it, to making appointments to look at venues, to booking other things, to doing my own business….whew.  i’m exhausted!  God’s blessings are raining on me in cats and dogs!  Thank you all for being my friends and supporting me in good times and bad!  I love you all!

[ rediscovering the american conglomerate ]

In a quest for the cheapest paint in Greensboro, Daniel and I wandered into Wal-Mart.

Now, Wal-Mart is one of those places that I’d rather take a beating than go near….particularly on the weekend [and particularly the one on Wendover.  ick.].  But, there is a little one right next to my apartment on N. Battleground that usually isn’t too heavily populated, thus the pain is lessened.    Anyhow, after buying COUNTLESS gallons of paint from Lowe’s and Home Depot over the past several weeks, we were in the market for one last color, just in the quart size.  Upon arriving to Lowe’s, they informed us that their house [cheap] brand of paint was no longer made in the quart size, and that we’d have to upgrade our paint quality.  “Sure, how much would a quart be in that?”  13 dollars.  That’s more than we spent on the gallons of the other stuff.  No way.  So, on the way back to my apartment and on a whim, we decided to see what Wal-Mart had to offer.  Surprisingly, they had a rather wide selection of paint [for what we needed, at least], and we got a quart for 5 DOLLARS!  Nice.  Why didn’t we go there for all those OTHER gallons of paint?!  Sigh.

Then the more magnificent occurence.  Distracted from my paint quest, I wandered into the home design section while Daniel supervised the paint being mixed.   If you haven’t been to Wal-Mart in the past year or so, they’ve added a home line that is FAR superior to prior times.  The accessories, lamps, furniture, home accents, etc. are AMAZING.   I would even venture to say better than Target.  And at MUCH better prices [it's Wal-Mart, of course--"Always low prices"].  I got an awesome vase for only $5 and they had SO much more that I’m going back for.  In the future, I will pursue ALL of my home design needs at Wal-Mart first.  Sounds odd, huh?  Especially coming from someone who does this for a living.  It was marvelous.  I believe I had a type of rebirth there.  Ok, so I’m being dramatic…but I do recommend you rediscover the magnificence that is our all-american Wal-Mart.